you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
