You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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