protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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