And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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