What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
