i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
