I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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