What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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