My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
