My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
