when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
