Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
porn star boner night. come get it.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
