Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
