You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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