its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize