No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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