i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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