someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
