Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
