Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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