Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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