She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The cops high fived after they tackled you
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
