His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
