Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
