I like my sex mixed with concussions.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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