How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
