Me too!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
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being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
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So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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