Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
