if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
