Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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