Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
