I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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