how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
