In the future we'll all be gay
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
can u get pink eye on your cock?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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