I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
