I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
