I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
