Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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