giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
