Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
people are starting to question the shark bite story
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
