i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
