i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
