Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
