he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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