I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
