so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
