are you still at the devil's house?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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