Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
PANTIES FOUND
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