It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
