do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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