Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
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Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
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Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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