i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
