yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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