Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
