My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
