Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
