Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize