I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
