I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
