i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
