sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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