They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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